Can We Talk?

Slovenia

Sept. 1, 2008 Monday

Had breakfast at the other Gasthaus with the other guests – most of them from Germany. Found out one couple had skipped out on their hotel bill and Hansi paid. That is so mean. We then drove around to Branko’s to say hello to his wife. His laws was immaculately groomed except for a large square area. “I wonder why he didn’t cut there,” asked Charlie. We soon found out. Branko has a couple of pet goats. He lets the grass grow for them to eat.

Next stop to Andre’s apartment building and then his bistro where I had a scoop of ice cream. We then said our goodbyes to everyone. Hansi and I took off to Maribor to see about land registry and my birth documentation. Turns out, we were at the wrong office for the registry and the priest who had the documentation was out. Hansi brought me back to Charlie because he had to say Mass at 6PM. He is more or less free all day unless there is a wedding, a christening, a funeral and such but he has to be back by 6PM to say mass.

Charlie and I had a huge dinner at the hotel. The dinner was one of the best I had on this trip. Just wonderful. Then we went to bed.

September 2, 2008 Tuesday

Hansi picked us up and drove us to Mureck. We had breakfast at a place called Erika’s. Hansi talked to some women inside the café who knew all about Sternthal. They were real nice and quite excited about the story of Hansi and I having not seen each other in sixty-three years. Also, there was a woman in a small Tabak store that I might also be related to. She very much wanted to get together with me to see if that is so. She is also a Zacharias on her mother’s side.

I tried to buy a SIM card but it would work on my phone. Apparently, it is not an open phone. Very disappointed. We then began to drive back. Took picture of the famous bridge that was destroyed during war. All rebuilt now. There are no guards of any kind at the border. We drove back to Locavek and up to the house. We spoke to the man across the street from my family’s house. He told us several years back, Albert and his three sisters were there in his house talking about their property and asking him questions. One of the sisters lived in Canada and one in Australia, so I knew they were Hani, Mother and Aunt Frieda. Apparently, they said they weren’t interested in the land – just the money. He was very surprised when I told him that all but my mother were dead.

Back down the hill to Golob. Hansi had split his pants and asked for a needle and thread so he could sew them up. Meanwhile Charlie and I walked to the school where Mom, Hansi and her siblings went. I took pictures from the outside from every angle. Then a woman walked out – out of curiosity, I guess. I told her that my mother had been a student there many years ago. She walked over to me. She was very nice and invited us in the school to have a look around. She gave us a tour. There were 33 children and 4 teachers. The children ranged from the age of 6 to 17. What a place. They had a computer lab with one teacher. Those kids were learning the computer at the age of 6. Another teacher taught German to a small class – I think three. Since this was just the second day of the school year, they were getting to know each other. We took a couple of pictures and were given some items the students had made. This year they were celebrating 120 years that the school had been built. Talk about an exclusive school. 33 students – 4 teachers.

When we got back to Golob, I told Hansi where we’d been. He said he wants to go too since he also went to school there. I went with him and he went inside to talk to some people but we didn’t stay long. I guess one disruption per day is quite enough. He seemed very happy. Later, as we drove towards Lenart, we saw some children walking home from school, a couple of them with cell phones stuck to their ears.

We then drove to Lenart to see government office re land inquiry. The man in charge, although very nice, said this was the wrong office and to go to this other office in the yellow building across the street but today is too late. We took Hansi to dinner (BTW, the split in his pants opened again but he bravely walked into the restaurant with Charlie close behind.) It was time to head home. Hansi had to say Mass. Well, I guess he was in a bit of a hurry and, wouldn’t you know it, he was caught speeding. That took a while for forms to be filled out, etc. I learned the next day that his congregation waited for him. He is so well loved.

September 30th, 2008 Posted by Lugatz | Family, Zacharias - The Story of a Family | no comments

On Being a Woman

When I was young, I never got warm and fuzzy over babies.  I think I was expected to.  When my sister was born, I was excited.  It was amazing to see a real person in miniature.  Those tiny fingers and toes.  Wow.  I was amazed at how much that tiny being could poop.  HOLY! 

Well, eventually the novelty wore off.  The work involved was too much and became a drag.  Mother and her husband depended on me a lot.  I was almost 13 years old when she was born so I was expected to be the vice-mother.  Well, maybe not but definitely a built-in baby sitter who didn’t get paid because, aren’t we feeding you and dressing you and putting a roof over your head?  Like I said, it was OK until the novelty wore off.  I was, after all, a teenager and had other things on my mind.  Movie stars.  Boys.

By the time I was late teens, I took great pains to stay away from babies.  Some women thought me cold and unfeeling.  Some women thought me weird.  Wasn’t it every woman’s dream to hold a baby?  To have a baby?  No. 

When I was finally married and expecting, I was looking forward to see how this thing growing inside me will look.  Besides, I wanted to experience childbirth.  Like a biology assignment.  Lucky for me, I saw it all.  Since I was in a semi-sitting position at that crucial time, I saw the back of the head first, then the rest of the body.  Baby’s arms flailed up and down feverishly and legs were kicking.  What a kid, even then.  Of course, I had no idea of the sex since I only saw the backside.  When they told me it was a boy, I was so happy for husband.  He wanted a boy more than anything. 

There, project done and I got an A.

April 2nd, 2007 Posted by Lugatz | Family, Musings | no comments

Christmas 06

This must be the “outcast club”.  My brother-in-law, who is newly divorced and whose children don’t want anything to do with him, spent Christmas with us.  He is a very handsome, tall, slim, 60 year old dentist with a full head of hair. 

My husband, who was married for 28 years before divorcing, is another one whose children barely talk to him.  His sons speak to him on special occasions like Christmas, his birthday, Father’s Day.  That’s about it.  His daughter hasn’t spoken to him in fifteen years, which is about as long as he and I have been together.

My son has his own family problems and is torn between spending time with his daughter from his former wife and spending time with his daughter from a more recent relationship.  So, I don’t see him much either but we’re still very close. 

I don’t talk to my half-sister and my mother has Alzheimer’s and is in a home.

Just your typical dysfunctional family. 

Read more…

December 27th, 2006 Posted by Lugatz | Family, Nostalgia | no comments

Baby Boy Comes Home

I was so proud of myself. I actually lost all my baby weight in the hospital and came home slim. I was weak, though. The stitches hurt and I had lower back pain. But the suitcase was packed and husband was there to pick us up and take us home.

As soon as we got home, husband snapped. He started to scream, threw the suitcase down, the baby started to cry and so did I. I was confused. I thought this ought to be a happy moment. Instead, I was made to feel guilty for having our son. It didn’t make any sense. He behaved so strangely, as though he resented this other little person coming into his life.

In the middle of the tirade, friend Margaret walked in and comforted me. She claimed her husband behaved in the same exact way. She helped me to set up the change table. She helped me with the formula. I don’t know what I would have done without her, at that time. Read more…

November 27th, 2006 Posted by Lugatz | Family, Long Ago and Far Away, Nostalgia | no comments

Having a Baby

It was getting close to Christmas, my family was coming to stay with us for a couple of weeks. I was pregnant out to there but the baby just didn’t want to come out just yet. Every day, I’d walk and walk, climb hills and generally do everything I could think of to make it happen. Finally, my doctor admitted me to hospital and proceeded with the saline drip to induce labour.

I checked into hospital on the Sunday night. Monday morning, I got the usual shave and enema as such were the indignities we had to endure at that time. At 9AM the drip began. It was a bit of a pain because I had to get up and take that whole tree with me whenever I went to the bathroom. Just the same, I managed.

All day long there were a string of visitors. One of the girls decided to put makeup on me because she felt it was proper to greet the new baby looking one’s best. Read more…

November 21st, 2006 Posted by Lugatz | Family, Long Ago and Far Away | no comments